Rapid’s Toast Babies by Kim Daniels
It was a bright and sunny afternoon. Rapid was just waking up. Rapid yawned, stretching out his sore muscles. “I’m gonna make some toast!” Rapid thought out loud. Rapid dragged himself out of bed, and to his kitchen. He got some toast out of the fridge, and put it in the toaster. A few moments later DING! The toast came out of the toaster by itself. Rapid came to investigate the strange noise. He didn’t see the piece of toast, and slipped, falling on top of it. He merely got up and put it outside for the birds. Little did he know, he had in-pregnated the piece of toast. A couple months later, all was well. Rapid was making pasta when he heard a knock at the door. He went to the door and opened it. On his porch was a basket, and 4 pieces of little toast with blonde hair that looked like wigs. They cried. Rapid looked around, and he saw a note. He picked it up. It read,
"Yo Bitch you gotz me preggo so take ya damn kids."
Rapid blinked a few times, trying to resist angrily eating his children. He picked up the basket and went to the piece of toast, who we will call Laquifa. Rapid knocked on the door. Laqufia answered “What chu want bitch?” “Take yo kids motherfuka” Rapid said. “Oh nah bitch. Now let meh go so iz can buy some crack” Laquifa said, running to the alleyway. Rapid sighed, picking up the basket and running after her. Well Laquifa was not buying no crack, no she wuz having an affair! Dun dun DUUUUUNNNNNN! So rapid walked in on Laquifa having an affair with another piece of toast. But this was no ordinary piece of toast, no this toast had Jam on it! Dun dun DUUUUUNNNN! “Yo what you doin’ with dis’ Jambag?” Rapid exclaimed. “Da fuk is a Jambag?” Laquifa said. “I didn’t wanna say doushebag in front of da kids!” Rapid yelled. “Well ya just did!” Laquifa yelled back. Rapid jumped forward, onto Laquifa. He ate her and left the kids to the other piece of toast, who we will call Jim. The next day, Rapid woke up in the afternoon as always, shook out his blonde hair and looked out the window and said, “Ya know what? I’m gonna lay off toast for a while”.
"Yo Bitch you gotz me preggo so take ya damn kids."
Rapid blinked a few times, trying to resist angrily eating his children. He picked up the basket and went to the piece of toast, who we will call Laquifa. Rapid knocked on the door. Laqufia answered “What chu want bitch?” “Take yo kids motherfuka” Rapid said. “Oh nah bitch. Now let meh go so iz can buy some crack” Laquifa said, running to the alleyway. Rapid sighed, picking up the basket and running after her. Well Laquifa was not buying no crack, no she wuz having an affair! Dun dun DUUUUUNNNNNN! So rapid walked in on Laquifa having an affair with another piece of toast. But this was no ordinary piece of toast, no this toast had Jam on it! Dun dun DUUUUUNNNN! “Yo what you doin’ with dis’ Jambag?” Rapid exclaimed. “Da fuk is a Jambag?” Laquifa said. “I didn’t wanna say doushebag in front of da kids!” Rapid yelled. “Well ya just did!” Laquifa yelled back. Rapid jumped forward, onto Laquifa. He ate her and left the kids to the other piece of toast, who we will call Jim. The next day, Rapid woke up in the afternoon as always, shook out his blonde hair and looked out the window and said, “Ya know what? I’m gonna lay off toast for a while”.